Nancy Loraas, a Calgary-based executive, leadership, and communication coach, sent me a request to fill in a communications questionnaire. As I was filling it in I began to think, “My answers might be helpful to my readers; those interested in effective communication skills.” Consequently, I am sharing Nancy’s questions and my answers.
Consider answering these questions for yourself or perhaps use them as questions about communication for a discussion group. They just might work as communication questions for students or questions on communication skills for a personal development group.
Communication is a combination of sending and receiving information. Communicating a message is sent with a combination of words, the tone of voice and/or body language. When we email or text, we are only communicating with words. When we talk on the phone, we communicate words and our tone of voice. When we are in the physical presence of others, we can communicate with all three–word, tone of voice, and body language, including facial expressions.
I give it a NINE! I agree with the expression, “Communication is the life source of relationships as water is to fish,” If communication suffers, so will the relationship. I know. I have been there and see it in others who struggle to meaningfully connect.
My pet verbal communication peeves include:
4. What have been the biggest lessons you have learned about communication? It was in my early twenties that I experienced my most painful communication lesson. A friend brought her children a long distance for a visit. I talked non-stop. She later wrote me a letter describing how she felt dismissed and ignored to me.
Regardless, of crying my eyes out and apologizing, the friendship ended. To this day I still feel sad about my error. From that time forward I determined to improve my communication skills, primarily my listening skills. By the time I was forty years of age, I was a therapist who uses listening professionally.
It is difficult to rate one’s self. I give myself a 9 from where I used to be! On the whole, I rate myself at an 8. I want to honor the time and effort I have devoted to improving my communication skills.
At my ripe age, people tell me they feel uplifted, empowered, and loved by me. I watch for moments I can honestly acknowledge, encourage and appreciate. I smile as often as I can as it helps others feel safe and trusting. Listening empathetically and using self-responsible language has earned the trust of others.
Although I tend to avoid conflict, when challenged, I have developed assertiveness skills to hold me steady . . . most of the time. There are still situations where I end up feeling like a withered daffodil.
More and more of us are reading texts, listening, watching, and participating online. Here are my on screen delights:
The two cautions about engaging with Social Media are:
Fewer of us are having face-to-face communication. I see teenagers sitting together; all with their faces in screens. Research is indicating that digital overload is changing our youths’ brains and not necessarily for the better. Many are becoming addicted to the screen and losing the ability to pick up on social cues or make meaningful conversation.
Les and I watched a documentary about an internet withdrawal treatment camp in China for youth addicted to online gaming. Scary!
Communication skills in the workplace are called ‘soft skills’ and are often devalued. Yet it is a known fact that about 80% of employees do not lose their job because of a lack of ability to do their work. They lose their jobs because they lack the ability to communicate respectfully and get along with others. John Gottman, the marriage researcher, also affirms the importance of effective communication to maintain a satisfying relationship.
Effective communication skills are key for success as an employee, a leader, parent, lover or friend. To communicate effectively:
1. Speak with honesty, thoughtfulness, and kindness.
2. Listen attentively and non-judgmentally.
Consider answering Nancy Loraas’ communication skills questions yourself. Then let us know your answers. OK?
Please check out these related posts:
Patricia Morgan MA CCC helps her readers, clients, and audiences lighten their load, brighten their outlook, and strengthen their resilience. To go from woe to WOW call 403.830.6919 or email a request. If you enjoyed or benefited from this blog, please leave a Comment below and subscribe to my eNewsletter, Your Uplift.
Yes I agree with you when you said avoiding the conversation only makes the situation worse. I have been there. I enjoyed these answers specially your honestly acknowledging, encouraging and appreciating moments. And not to forget that welcoming smile which is helpful in bringing others the feel of safe and trust. Very importantly for an empathetic listening and usage of self-responsible language by you, there is a lot to know. Dear Patricia, thank you for sharing this.
Sort of like leaving the awful stew on the stove burner; it will burn until it can’t be swallowed, eh?
I honor the statement “Our relationships are nourished or die in the sea of communication”. So true. Be it any sort of relation, communication has its own role to keep it nourished or killing it. Thank you for the ideas, tips shared. This truly helps.
Hi Stella, Thank you, for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to do so. Also I was glad to read that some of my tips were helpful. In these stressful times we are spending ‘isolated’ time with those we share our home. Hopefully we are experiencing support, care and hope with one another. If not, perhaps it is time to explore improved communication and behaviour.
I loved this idea of posting your authentic and thoughtful responses. You are so awesome Patricia! I often reflect on your extreme generosity in helping me prepare for speeches at Fast track.
Thank you, for your kind acknowledgement, Roni-lil! I continue to provide support to rising professional speakers. Both of us thrive on our meaningful work!
Hello,
Your articles are helpful. Most of the 10 questions related to English learning skills and are relevant to my searching of words, especially the answers to question number 7. Hopefully, others will find your work helpful. Thanks for it all.
Thank you, for leaving your acknowledging comments, Sanoyar. I gather you are learning English as a second language. Good on you! You may notice that I corrected a few grammatical mistakes. On the whole I understood what you wrote. Keep learning!
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
